profoundfluxpudding

When I start talking about something I want to do, I can’t rest until I’ve done it. I so hate when people are ATNA (all talk no action) that I will do anything to avoid this. Often, this means that I do things too quickly and don’t plan thoroughly. But sometimes it works out.

I’ve been talking about buying a blender for a week or so now. I’ve started dreaming up smoothie concoctions – banana, mango, and soymilk or passionfruit, banana, and yogurt. Maybe I can use cucumbers for something. Or avocado. Does mangosteen work for smoothies?

I haven’t been this into smoothies since middle school when they came out as a hot new fad. But I’ve been searching for a breakfast routine here quite unsuccessfully. I went through a phase of eating pho, of making oatmeal in a rice cooker, and of eating yogurt with homemade granola. But I’m so fickle lately. Now the idea of smoothies has captivated my every cell.

Finally, on my way home today, I stopped at an electronics store on electronics street. I instantly fell in love with a retro green blender. It costs 650,000VND, the lady at the store told me.

Shoot, I only had 550,000 VND in my wallet. I showed her my empty wallet. I knew this meant that I would just have to come back another day and buy my blender. But I was CRUSHED.

She showed me a different blender that cost 550,000VND. It was white and boring – nothing like the cute green blender that reminded me of the Kitchenaid products I’ve always coveted. “I don’t like this one,” I said.

“Hold on one minute,” she told me. She went to confer with someone else. Then the miraculous happened – she told me I could have the green blender for 550,000VND.

It wasn’t even that I had set out to bargain. Had I had the extra 100,000VND (all of US$5) in my wallet, I would have paid the amount she told me and thought nothing of it. But my inadvertent bargaining strategy had worked – probably because I was totally sincere and they felt sorry for the girl who was about to spend all her money so that she could make breakfast smoothies.

Anyways, it felt good to be on the right side of a rip-off. Maybe now that my 1 year anniversary in Vietnam is coming up, I am finally starting to get it.

And now I will dream of smoothies.

(The really corny British scuba master would say that when it was time to leave the island and go diving)

I remember a tour guide from Pomona College in California selling the school to me when I was a mere high school junior by explaining the ski and surf day – how in one day you can spend the morning skiing and the afternoon at the beach. I found that pretty amazing, but still decided to go to a college where you can spend the morning skiing and the afternoon freezing your butt off.

Anyways, I was reminded of that ski and surf day in Kota Kinabalu, Borneo. We had a mountain summit one day and a ocean plunge the next day. It was like a physics lesson in atmospheric pressure changes. Just last Friday we were huddled together like a group of penguins waiting to catch the sunrise atop Mt. Kinabalu. I was wearing fleece pants, two sweatshirts, a hard shell, a wool hat, and gloves. And I was shivering straight through my core. We had woken up at 2 am from the base camp to hike in the dark. A long line of people did this hajj to the summit, but we got there first, naturally. We thought we were so smart to hike faster until we got to the top and realized we had an hour until the sun would rise. It was cold, but amazing. I did not warm up until we finished Asia’s only and the world’s highest Via Ferrata. The hike down was brutal because my legs were so sore. Needless to say we indulged in massages that night.

Saturday morning, without too much sleep for the weary, we headed out to scuba dive. I eagerly exchanged my hiking boots for my bikini. This is my dream vacation – so much adventure packed in. I just got certified last month and I still don’t have my scuba card, but luckily I was able to assemble the equipment with such confidence that it took the dive master no time to believe that I was a “real diver.” I had less confidence in my own capabilities because I was trained in such a bootleg manner, but it turns out I knew more than I thought. I dove backwards off the boat with the best of them and in no time I was underwater. When I first got certified I didn’t really see the magic of diving. It was strange and exciting, but I was looking at bizarre things and mostly focusing on breathing and balancing. This time was different – I was with friends who had a lot of diving experience. I realized that it doesn’t matter if I can’t identify every fish. “It is like exploring a new planet,” one of my friends said. We swam along together – pointing at things and playing with sea cucumbers. It was like the best underwater tea party you could ever imagine. I was laughing and doing backwards flips and felt pure childlike playfulness. Now I am really starting to fall in love with diving.

We went out clubbing in Kota Kinabalu that night and then spent the next day recovering from it. After all that excitement, a rainy day of movie theaters and massages was quite welcome. What a nice summer vacation treat! Now one month countdown until Laos with sister!…

I met a journalist from National Geographic Traveler a few months ago. He wanted to interview me and I wanted to talk to him because, thats what journalists do – constantly look for connections and networks.  He recently sent me some follow-up questions to an article he is writing about Hanoi. I am publishing my answers here because I think they show how I have changed. Months ago, I might have been more sure of these answers. But, like anything, the more you start to know, the less you realize you do know. I am no expert – and I don’t want to pretend to be one. But here are my latest thoughts on everything Vietnam, as prompted by the journalist:

What do you like most about living in Hanoi?

I like that every day is an adventure in Hanoi. I love that some of the invisible pressures in the US – to wear the right clothes and to have the perfect everything  – just don’t exist here. I love the small things – the lady that sells tofu on my street, the fact that I can buy lotus flowers from a guy on a bicycle, and the clear sky after a big summer rain.

I have made some amazing friends – both Vietnamese and expat. I think there is something about being so far away from your own family and things that you grew up with that make people band together and really look out for each other.

What are young Vietnamese focused on these days? How do they view the past (the American War) and How are Americans naive about contemporary Hanoi/Vietnam?

As far as I can tell, young Vietnamese are focused on a bright future. They want good educations and good jobs so that they can make money. Most of them were born after the American War and have no direct connection to it. As there is an “official forgetting” of the war because Vietnam wants to have good relations with the US for economic and trade reasons, people are not supposed to talk much about the war. In my own experience, I have never had a Vietnamese person mention anything negative to me about being an American, save for the tofu lady who said “BOOM BOOM BOOM” to me after finding out that I was American.

Americans hear “communism” and immediately think of failed planned farming in the USSR or the dilapidation in Cuba. It is hard for Americans to understand how a growing economy works with communism. Americans also have that Hollywood Vietnam War image of Vietnam  that I don’t really see much of.  Most Americans I know just think of Vietnam as a very very faraway place and cannot understand why I am living there.

Was it strange to be partying on top of an air-raid bunker (or missile site) or kind of cool?

It was definitely both strange AND cool. It is a funky cafe – I love the characterful cafes around Hanoi. I also loved when we sang a song about peace a top of the bunker – I felt like I was living in that Beatles movie Across the Universe.

Did you find Hanoians “cheerful, upbeat?” as I did?

Compared to the Saigonese, Hanoians are stereotyped to be stingy and mean. I have not found this to be true – you just have to smile, be considerate to them, and speak a little Vietnamese if you can, and Hanoians can be some of the most generous and helpful people I’ve met. Of course stereotypes are never good. The old woman that grabbed my hand to help me cross the street went out of her way to be nice. More people in Hanoi have performed random acts of kindness for me than I could ever imagine. The mean person who broke into my house and stole a bunch of things was NOT kind. People will be people.

I don’t know what it is – maybe the summer heat or maybe having a job that makes me need to run off some steam – but I am getting back into running, not just as something I do automatically, but something that my body craves and itches for every day.

Today I ran across town at 6pm  - the traffic was heavy, but this route was surprisingly pleasant. It covers two nice lakes and has few stop lights.  I was singing and dancing to my Ipod shuffle the whole way. Thats a thing I love about Hanoi – absolutely no inhibition to look crazy (not like I am an inhibited person to begin with..). The run was 5.43 miles -nothing compared to my cross-country days, but pretty darn good for a humid day in traffic heavy Hanoi.

I just wonder if all the exhaust I breathed is outweighing any benefits from running…

Unlike Eloise at The Plaza, I don’t live at the Metropole. I just live right around the corner from it and will find any excuse to visit.

Sometimes I go for a cocktail and little dinner. I just love love love to walk through the grand doors and make my way to the pool side bar. There is something colonial about the large leather chairs and retro ceiling fans. I only like to order drinks that are classics of the Metropole – anything else just does not come with enough history for me.

After a few hours, when the bill comes, I am always a little taken aback. The bill looks so official and comes in US dollars. As much as I try to feel fabulous, I don’t make enough money to have cocktails at the Metropole and not feel it in my wallet. But, life is about feeling fabulous, right?

Last night I went to a wine tasting at the Metropole. I brought along my friend/housemate/partner in crime and we pretended that we were sophisticated like the adults in the room, but mostly we giggled to ourselves. The wine writer that was in charge of the tasting was the caricature of a wine snob. All that was missing was his monocle. He was from San Francisco, but had a curious French accent and drew out the w for about three seconds when he said, “what.” He spoke in monotonous monologues. I did not really like the stinky white wine that we tried. There were not enough canapes for my liking. When it was time to leave, it started to pour so we just had had had to stick around. At first I thought some nice men might buy us dinner, but then I reailzed that they were sketchy and I wanted nothing to do with them.

I would have liked to crawl in my bed and eat bon bons and watch a movie, but it was really important that I go to some more bars and try more cocktails for research. Luckily my friend was really enthusiastic and made the night a lot of fun.

Now I have some business cards for people at the Metropole and they invite me to attend events because I have an important job. I just received an invitation for a lunch later this week to try the chef’s new summer menu. I am trying to get a tutu tailored so maybe I can get it done beforehand and then I can wear it to lunch. I will probably be the youngest person there so I will practice using a fork and knife and having good manners. Now that I eat with chopsticks, I don’t really know how to use proper cutlery.

Maybe someday I will make it to the all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet or get a massage in their fabulous spa. There is just so much fun to be had at the Metropole. I wish Eloise could help me find a way to live there.

(I was inspired by this article. The difference between girl who impersonated Eloise in this article and me is that I am younger than 23 and I decided I was through with internships a long time ago)

I was out last night until 5 am watching the US lose to Ghana in the World Cup. I had tried to leave at half time, but got distracted and next thing I knew, the game was tied and to leave would have been criminal. So, I sat next to my new neighbor, the US ambassador, and rooted for Team America.  To my dad’s chagrin, I am not much of a sports fan. I love to play sports and enjoy the atmosphere, but if I am going to be awake all night, I would have hoped it was for something more exciting than screaming “USA” at a television in a den of smoke, nachos, and beer.

Tonight I decided to go watch Germany vs. England at a new bar because I needed to try out a cocktail there for an article. It had been a long, social weekend already and I had a bit of a headache. The bar was rowdy and hot and my head was already spinning before the game begun. I couldn’t focus on any conversations. I was hungry, but it seemed too stressful to try to order food at the busy restaurant. I urged to escape. So, in a very typical me move, I did just that. “I gotta go,” I said to my friends and peaced the hell out.

People who know me have come to understand that sometimes I just can’t take it. As much as I love to flutter my social butterfly wings, sometimes I need to get back into a proverbial cocoon for some recharging. At the bar tonight, I was desperate for a recharge.

Excited to be back in the peaceful quiet of my new neighborhood, I decided to go for an exploratory walk and find some street food. I eat at so many restaurants with big crowds of friends, so that when I am on my own, I really enjoy a quick outside meal on plastic chairs. Its just so rejuvenating. I think for years after I leave Vietnam, cravings for personal time will come hand in hand with a bowl of pho.

As I walked around the streets, I realized something magical was happening. The football game was omnipresent. Families sat around their television sets watching. Every bar and restaurant was showing the game. Taxi cab drivers waiting on street corners had the game blasting from their radio. Men sleeping at constructions sites were gathered in a makeshift living room. The whole world was watching.

The thought that everyone around the world was viewing the same game made me feel both very connected and very small. I was overcome with a sense of wooziness, but maybe that was just the cocktails.

I returned to Hanoi with my  SSI open water certification on Monday afternoon. I can now  dive anywhere around the world. I am really excited about this and hope to get more advanced diving certifications in the near future. Next stop, Borneo in July!

I do recommend a trip to Nha Trang if you want to hang out with teeny-bopper backpackers, go to a kitschy mud bath, or see some dead coral. But, I had a great weekend nonetheless.

And then I returned to Hanoi and started to stress. I was finally moving from my house in the robber-laden neighborhood to a new home that is right next to the US Ambassador’s house and has 24-hour guards. But, I had to pack up all my things and move across town. I arrived in Hanoi ten months ago with only what I could carry through the airport, but since then I have acquired a lot of stuff. The idea of bringing all my suitcases through the alley with lots of traffic and vendors was enough stress to outweigh a whole weekend of relaxation.

After work on Monday, I was planning to go home and pack, but a friend convinced me to come to a big dinner. Then another friend convinced me to go get a drink. And then the owner of the bar convinced me to stay later. And then it was 2am and my friend and I decided that it would be good hour to move. So I moved all my suitcases across town at witching hour. It was actually genius. The streets were quiet and it was not as hot. When  I woke up the next morning, it felt like it had all been a dream.

Now I just need to begin the process of unpacking and acquiring some much needed items for my new house (like internet, knives to cut fruit, a place to put my clothing…).

Let the fun begin!

I escaped the typical craziness in Hanoi to come to Nha Trang for a SCUBA certification. So far I have just spent two hours in a pool and watched an hour of video, but tomorrow I am going for my first dive… .I just have to take some decongestants because I could not equalize my ears today and my instructor told me it was because I sleep with air conditioning on. I never realized that sleeping with AC was a faux pas, but I have found that expats in Vietnam really look down on it. And now its making me not able to SCUBA. But actually, I don’t think I have ever been able to equalize my ears by blowing through my nose. I barely knew how to blow my nose until I was a teenager…uhh

So far, the most important thing in scuba diving is remembering to breathe. Never hold your breath. It is disconcerting how you can hear your breath through a machine, but I can’t help but connect it to yoga and to my mom’s perennial advice for me: BREATHE.

I haven’t had a very yogic attitude lately. I went to a yoga workshop last weekend but left perturbed and antsy because I had paid a lot of money and did not feel at all satisfied.  I spent all week in some sort of fluster.

Who knew I would find the reminder I need in a scuba diving course? Breathe. breathe. breathe. It seems like it should be obvious….

Wish me luck! I really don’t want to end up with the bends or some other freaky scuba accident.

Bustodia is the evil version of Hanoi. It is a place where everything is wacky. It is a week full of Mondays. Its is driving your motorbike in unchartered territory during a power cut at rush hour so there is not even any semblance on control. It is where your purse gets stolen when you put in on a table for a few moments so that you can more properly dance to soul music. It is where you watch your ex-boyfriend try to make a pathetic move on your best friend. It is where the same people get together in different permutations in a way that is more incestuous than Gossip Girl. In Bustodia, all sense of right or wrong is thrown to the wolves – or to the rats that scramble around your alley late at night.

I chose to live in Hanoi, but sometimes it feels like this Jekyll and Hyde city is always set on crazy! My parents and my dog now live in San Francisco – maybe I should cut my loses and move to the most amazing city I know.

Give me some feedback, dear readers.

My life now is completely different than it was a few months ago – I have a new job and I am moving to a new house on the other side of town. One of my favorite bloggers does a “five senses” update every once in a while, so I thought I would too!

tasting:: Did I mention that I am a coconut fanatic? Coconut water is an amazing source of electrolytes. I feel like I am always trying to stay hydrated in the heat here so there is nothing better than a big ol’ coconut at a cafe. I’ve recently been introduced to jello coconuts. It sounds gross, but its the best thing that happened to gelatin.

hearing:: 8tracks.com is my new obsession. Music lovers create mixes that can be listened to and shared around the world. I just created a profile, but have not uploaded any mixes yet. My great friend and awesome DJ made a mix that is all the rage in Hanoi these days. Listen to it here: http://8tracks.com/mrdavidstout/country-soul-in-the-city

smelling:: fresh nail polish. I decided to get my nails painted taxi cab yellow today. One of the joys of living in Vietnam is that weekly manicures and pedicures are absolutely affordable ($10 for mani, pedi, and eyebrow wax), so why not play around with funky colors?

seeing:: I impulsively bought the entire Sopranos series last night at one of the cheap DVD stores in Hanoi. Besides Seinfeld and Sex and the City, there are no shows that I have seen every episode of. I’m not an obsessive television person, and I am not sure why of all shows I chose the this one, but heres to spontaneity! This is an investment in time, but I am  pretty pumped about it.

feeling:: A little scattered, but in a good way. I have lots of traveling, adventures, and excitement in the works for the coming months. I just hope it all works out.